Coyotes, Snakes and Deer(man), Oh My

I have to say that it is never boring living on the farm...and we're an itty bitty farm.

It’s been five times – FIVE TIMES – now that I have walked in on a snake in the chicken coop. 

All five were rat snakes and I know they are not harmful (I am told that we actually want them around) but they might as well have been mutant cobras. 

             

First time: big OJ gloves required.

Second time: bare handing it will do.

Yes, it is our fault the snakes are in the coop. We've discovered holes that needed to be patched up and now, since all of the chickens are bigger, we keep the run door open so they can get in if needed. OK, so it may be more surprising that I haven’t had more encounters with snakes but still…it’s very upsetting for me. I still can bring myself to step into the coop.

The snakes are almost as surprising – but not as scary in my opinion - as coming home one day and seeing a coyote just gingerly sauntering out of the woods ready for a fresh chicken dinner. That encounter was really more of a curiosity to me than anything else because the thing looked just like a cute and sweet - yes, I said sweet - dog. The real scare came later when I realized just how much damage it could have done to our chickens, who were out of the coop.

But encountering creatures is to be expected when we are away from the more populated areas and surrounded by woods. The solitude is certainly nice, however, it's the dark places and weird noises that can be a bit unsettling, especially for one with frail nerves such as I.

Hearing things late at night is unfortunately not unusual, and it’s even worse when you can't hear things but your dog sure does. And Althea is very good at letting us know that there is definitely something out there, so RUFF RUFF BEWARE RUFF RUFF.

Usually, I can decipher whatever it is making noise. An engine rumbling in the distance, an animal scampering away, an unhappy chicken, a cat fight or even a donkey... 

Have you ever heard an upset donkey? These suckers are loud...and unnerving.

It’s the noises that I cannot make out that have me clutching my mighty arsenal - a can of hairspray and scissors (I spray you in the eyes with some hairspray and then you get a stabbing).

I hear noises that freak me out all the time but it is this one noise that I have heard twice – once just recently and the other about a year ago - in the middle of the night. I know for a fact that it was the same exact noise because the first time I heard it I could not even tell you what it sounded like it was so alien. I have never forgotten it…and only heard it again the other night.

It was very late and it woke me – and the dog – up. And I don't even know how to describe it. Not to Sean – who has the benefit of me actually making the noise – or to you.

All I know is I heard a noise that sounded like it was from several things rushing past my window. An alarm like sound is the best I can do in describing it.

That horrible sound is what woke me up. I heard it rushing by, then my dog started barking.

Unfortunately, Sean was woken up by the dog, so he has no clue what I heard…again.

Animals.

It had to be animals.

Animals out there doing whatever animals do.

Except I have listened to all kinds of recordings of animal noises. Raccoons, opossums , coyotes, birds, bobcats, etc, etc, etc. Nothing. Absolutely nothing sounds remotely close to what I heard.

Not. Even. Close.

There is no other explanation except maybe...

Aliens.

And it all wouldn’t be so bad if my dog didn’t decide to bark like crazy at the woods for two days straight after we both heard this noise (not the husband though).

I love having a dog. She keeps the monsters at bay. However, there may not be anything scarier than a dog barking at something you cannot see.

And the dog and I both know it wasn’t nothing. We both heard it (not the husband though).

And for a coincidence above all coincidences, it just so happens that the very next day – while my dog was going hysterical over something in the woods – I saw a face staring at me in the woods.

Sure I was on the back porch, a good 50 yards away, when I spotted it. At first it looked like a deer but as I approached closer, it looked slightly different in facial structure and color than any deer that I have seen around our house.

And it was too tall to be any other animal besides a deer.

It was in the middle of the day so I was more curious than afraid to see what it was, so I slowly approached hoping that I could get a better look. But my dog – who may or may not have the best eyesight – began barking at a completely different spot, and for a second – a second – I turned my head away and then it was gone.

And the more I think about it, the more I think that it could not have possibly been a deer. I'm telling you it looked completely different from any of the deer I have seen, and I have seen many a deer out and about since moving down to the farm.

The only other thing it could be is a human. And I know that it was not human.

Not deer... Not man...

A deerman???

And that has got to be better to deal with than a wolfman, right...

RIGHT?!?